I am SO bad at New Years Resolutions.
Every year I stare at my notebook on January 1st with the best intentions. I plan on eating less junk food and reading classic novels and watching less TV. All of my plans and goals come from a good place, really they do, but they last approximately 45 minutes at most.
I am many things but I am most certainly not resolved.
If I start a diet I blow it. If I sign up for a class I quit it. If I make a promise I’ll usually break it. Some of this is part of who I am fundamentally as a person. I simply have so many interests that it’s hard for me to stay focused in one area for an extended period of time. When I’m into something I’m into it (like my extensive Ralph Lauren Polo t-shirt collection in middle school) but then I’m quickly onto the next thing.
Some of this is my generation. We’ve grown accustomed to multiple tabs, browsers, devices and stimuli for so long that our brains genuinely struggle to connect with any given person or thing for more than a few minutes, even seconds, at most.
The odds are stacked against me when it comes to New Years Resolutions, but that’s no excuse to abandon them altogether. Instead, I’m making the New Years Resolutions that I need, not the ones that I want. Will I break them? Sure. Will I perfect them? Absolutely not. But they’re what I need this year and I’m confident that even just acknowledging that I need these things will shape me and form me into a different person this time next year.
These are resolutions for the quitters, the slackers, the forgetful and the scared. These are the resolutions you can actually keep and even if you don’t it will have been worth it to try. These are the goals worth setting, the memories worth making, and the space worth creating. So, these are 10 New Years Resolutions I wrote to myself earlier this year straight from my journal to your screen. If you like them, use them. If you don’t, find some that you do because I’m learning that is the whole point.
10 New Years Resolutions for the Non-Resolute
1. Less Is More
Do less shit but do the shit you are going to do better.
2. Pick 3 Things
You can only focus on 3 things at any given time, so this year it’s personal growth/my relationship with God, community, and building a business.
3. Press Pause
Odds are you don’t need it right now and you don’t have to jump at every chance you get. Good things have a habit of repeating themselves.
4. No More "Brain Picking"
If someone wants to "just grab coffee" to "pick your brain" that is called consultation and people pay money for that. For the love of adulthood you are a grown ass woman with talents, skills and abilities so charge them accordingly and stop undervaluing your services. Treat yourself like the competent and capable human being you are. Swap secrets with friends but not with strangers.
5. Be Kind
Rather than asking yourself what is the “right” thing to do ask yourself what is the kind thing to do. Often what is kind is actually the better choice after all.
6. Make Space
Create space for you to be yourself and for others to be themselves. Welcome them into your home and into your life by clearing your calendar.
7. Be Still
You don’t have to always fill the silence. What are you so afraid of? Basically, shut up more.
8. Go On Adventures
You love whimsy, adventures, and spontaneity, so just GO! Your bank account won’t thank you but your memories will.
9. Eat A Cookie
Good grief a cookie is not going to kill you. Keep your appetites in check (see #1) and don’t eat ALL the cookies but it’s time for you to pursue health, which includes your mental health and start redeeming your relationship with food rather than trying to be skinny.
10. Remember Your First Loves
Do what you’ve always loved. Read more. Write more. Spend time with the people you enjoy. Cultivate community. Crack open a bottle of wine. Spend time with God and in worship and make sure you go outside. These are the things you once loved, it’s time to begin the journey back to them and ultimately back to yourself. You are buried deep within yourself and you're worth unearthing.